#5 - Parking Costs More Than Your Car

The price structure from most expensive to least expensive is as follows:

• Your apartment
• Your car parking spot
• Your grocery bill
• An average family's income in any other area
• Your car insurance
• Christmas tips for your doorman and staff
• An average apartment in any other area

#4 - The Airport You Want is the Most Difficult to Get To

If it's easier for you to get to LaGuardia, all of your flights will leave from JFK. If it's easier for you to get to JFK, all of your flights will leave from LaGuardia.

If it's equally easy for you to get to both airports, all of your flights will leave from Newark.

#3 - Cross-Town Streets Don't Go Where You Want

All cross-town streets are one-way, either due to design or traffic. If the street you want to be on goes the direction you want to go, there will be a park between you and your destination.

In the event that the park fails its duties in blocking you, road work or construction crews will assume that role.

#2 - The Wind Blows Harder When It Snows

The rule of thumb for calculating windspeed is to take the windspeed from just before it was snowing, multiply by the average household size in China (8.2), add 5, then add 3 more for good measure.

For example, today the wind was 2 mph before it started snowing. After it started snowing, the wind increased to (((2 mph) x 8.2) + 5 + 3) or 24.4 mph.

Please note that when combined with Axiom #1, walking outside when it is snowing is not fun.

#1 - The Wind Always Blows In Your Face

No matter what direction you are walking, the wind is blowing from almost directly in front of you. Occasionally it will taunt you by coming from a slight angle, but this should not be misconstrued as a sign that it will shift (until, of course, you change direction. At this point it will shift to match you).

It is not uncommon to see two people walking opposite directions brush past each other, both leaning forward into the wind.

Suggestions

I can only post on the rules of the city as I run into them. If you have suggestions for other axioms, throw it in the comments below. If it rings true and I deem it worthy it will be made an official Axiom of New York City.

If it does not pass these stringent guidelines, I will taunt you.